He was searching the internet for a recipe. He found a video of him performing a sexual act

WARNING: This story contains details of intimate partner violence and may concern those who have experienced it or know someone who has.

Natalie Brown sat down one day to search the Food Network for a recipe. But another website that starts with “F” quickly appeared – Fetlife, a Canadian social network for people who are interested in the occult – and on it, he found a video he didn’t know about himself having sex.

“I was so humiliated. I felt stupid, I felt ashamed, I felt scared,” Brown said during a recent interview at his Halifax apartment.

Brown, 39, said she later found out her partner had taken the video while she closed her eyes – at his request – and shared it on Fetlife.

Brown’s former partner, Conor Dolan, was charged in April 2024 with voyeurism and distribution of intimate images without consent. He initially pleaded not guilty in Dartmouth County Court.

WATCH | Natalie Brown when she found out there was a nude video of her online:

Ultimately, the prosecution dropped the voyeurism charge in favor of a distribution charge, to avoid Brown testifying at trial. On Jan. 6, following a joint recommendation from the Crown and the defense, Dolan received a four-month conditional sentence, commonly referred to as house arrest. You will have a criminal record.

Fueled by the conviction and spurred by a recent spate of killings in Nova Scotia — police say six women have been killed by their partners in the past three months as a result of intimate partner violence — Brown, 39, asked the court to lift a publication ban that protects her identity so she can raise awareness about intimate partner violence.

She also wants people to know about the challenges she faced in getting her intimate photos removed from the internet.

Conor Dolan, right, awaits his sentence outside a court in Dartmouth, NS He pleaded guilty to distributing intimate photos without permission. (Cris Monetta/CBC)

State’s Attorney Paul Niefer, who prosecuted the case against Dolan, said in an interview that arrests are often reserved for cases involving “revenge pornography,” where someone shares the images with the intention of harming the victim.

“This time we didn’t have that feature,” he said.

Dolan, who has no record, declined a request for an interview, but when asked by the court if he had anything to say, he said he was “very sorry.”

‘Great loss of privacy’

While handing down the sentence, Justice Tim Daley told Dolan, 43, that if the case had gone to trial, he could have been sent to prison.

“This was an act of sexual harassment of an intimate partner online. There was no question about it. There was a huge loss of privacy,” Daley said.

According to an agreed statement of facts before the court, Brown’s face and body were not visible in the 12-second video, but his bottom was naked. The video was taken from their shared apartment and Dolan was holding his dog in the profile picture on the account. His voice is also heard. The judge said he was visible.

WATCH | Natalie Brown asked a judge to lift a book ban that protects her identity:

The statement said Fetlife claims to have millions of members, but exact numbers are not available. It said the video was posted 14 days before Brown found it in September 2019, but had been online and publicly visible for four years.

In 2019, Dolan told Brown that he had deleted the video, but he had actually just turned it off.

The statement said she told him she posted the video to show off her dating skills and “it’s not about her.”

He also told her he had mental health issues, including “pornography/sex addiction.” He attended therapy sessions for several months and accompanied her to other sessions, in an attempt to continue their relationship.

The relationship ended amicably in December 2019, and the pair continued to share custody of their dog.

Shocked to find the video still online

Four years later, at the suggestion of a friend, Brown checked out the website and was shocked to find the video still existed.

The agreed statement of facts said Fetlife’s administrative logs show Dolan reopened his account five months after Brown found it, though he hasn’t used it since and, the statement said, he finally deleted it on Jan. 28, 2024.

Brown broke down in tears as she read her victim impact statement aloud in court. Since the website can match people by location, he is concerned that his friends, colleagues and neighbors may have seen the video.

“The idea that anyone could reduce my body, my independence, my dignity, my humanity, to something for them to consume without my consent is intolerable.”

Dolan sits with his eyes downcast.

“That was an extraordinary statement that we read here today, coming from an extraordinary woman, who showed incredible strength and resilience,” said the judge.

Brown said the judge made him feel heard.

Brown says the words of a Nova Scotia judge that validated her experience and feelings after her intimate photos were shared online without her consent helped her immensely. (Cris Monetta/CBC)

“Getting to that point and making the judge confirm everything I went through helped me a lot,” he said in the interview.

As soon as he found the video in 2019, Brown began trying to get Fetlife to remove it from its servers. He said the site told him it could not remove the video because it was Dolan’s and could not confirm that he was the one in the video.

WATCH | Speaking about her experience with intimate partner violence:

The CyberSCAN unit steps in to remove the video

Brown eventually contacted Nova Scotia’s CyberSCAN unit, which operates under the Intimate Images and Cyber ​​​​Protection Act. The unit, which has been in existence since 2013 and sees an average of 200 cases a year, can help release photos, which it did this time.

Fetlife did not respond to questions from CBC News about its policies.

Brown said he is speaking out because there is still discrimination against dating violence that needs to be removed so that people feel they can speak out without being judged.

He also wants to raise awareness of the difficulties he has encountered in accessing resources and navigating the justice system.

He said the waiting lists for counseling are too long and more money is needed.

Emma Arnold, a lawyer who works for the non-profit law firm People’s Advocacy and Transformational Hub, says she sees a lot of people because of domestic violence. (Cris Monetta/CBC)

Emma Arnold, an attorney who works for the non-profit law firm People’s Advocacy and Transformational Hub in Dartmouth, which provides pro bono and low bono services to improve access to justice, said her firm is seeing more and more people from home jobs. violence.

Applause for Brown’s advocacy.

“A lot of people don’t know that the injuries they’ve experienced are illegal.”

Brown wants people to know that even though fighting for justice can be difficult, it is worth it.

“Every time I got scared, I thought, ‘You’re not doing this,'” she said. “‘Doing this to every woman who has to live in that shame.’

For anyone affected by family or intimate partner violence, there is support available crisis lines and local support services. If you are in immediate danger or fear for your safety or that of others around you, please call 911.